The "Clueless" Dictionary
        of Medical Terms

        Artery The study of paintings
        Bacteria Back door to cafeteria
        Barium What doctors do when patients die
        Benign What you be after you be eight
        Cesarean Section A neighborhood in Rome
        Cat scan Searching for kitty
        Cauterize Made eye contact with her
        Colic A sheep dog
        Coma A punctuation mark
        D & C Where Washington is
        Dilate To live long
        Enema Not a friend
        Fester Quicker than someone else
        Fibula A small lie
        G.I. Series World Series of military baseball
        Hangnail What you hang your coat on
        Impotent Distinguished, well known
        Labor Pain Getting hurt at work
        Medical Staff A Doctor's cane
        Morbid A higher offer than I bid
        Nitrates Cheaper than day rates
        Node -Was aware of-
        Outpatient A person who has fainted
        Pap Smear A fatherhood test
        Post Operative A letter carrier
        Pelvis A second cousin to Elvis
        Recovery Room Place to do upholstery
        Rectum Nearly killed him
        Secretion Hiding something
        Seizure Roman emperor
        Tablet A small table
        Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport
        Tumor More than one
        Urine Opposite of you're out
        Varicose Near by/close by
        Vein Conceited